You can always try again

Special guest post by Allison Kelly (@allie2n3)

Title: There’s a Fine Line Between Random Acts of Kindness and Stalking
Subtitle: A Failed Attempt at RAOK

I went grocery shopping this morning. As I stood in the produce section perusing the organic mangoes (overpriced, but SO worth it!), I overheard the following conversation between a confused gentleman (CG) and a very young stock-boy (VYSB):

CG: Do you know what a poblano pepper looks like?
VYSB: Uhhhhh. . . .
CG (pointing to one of the pepper sections): This sign is partially torn off, so I don’t know if this is it?
VYSB: Uhhhhh. . . .
CG: It’s ok. Thanks.
VYSB scurries away, back to the comforts of stocking tomatoes – a well-known piece of produce that no one needs to ask about.

I watched this exchange with a sense of amusement – the stock-boy was adorable and was not being rude in the least, he just simply could not help this man.  The man was incredibly pleasant and did not seem annoyed at all by the fact that this person working in the produce department could not help him with his very own produce needs.  I got the feeling that this CG was sent to the store with a list of ingredients from his wife, which she needed to prepare a special meal for the two of them. As the VYSB returned to his duties, the CG stood for a few seconds longer in front of the peppers before turning and walking away. 

I silently chuckled to myself, and then turned back to the mangoes.  (Seriously – DELICIOUS.  Try them.)  All of a sudden, something went off in my brain. It was like a RAOK switch – Maybe I could help? Could I? Was there something I could do? Yes.

I whipped out my phone and Googled “poblano peppers.” I got a picture of what they looked like, and went over to the pepper section and looked. The picture showed an almost black, shriveled up looking thing that DEFINITELY did not look like any of the peppers in front of me. I started walking away, feeling like, hey, I tried. But then I started thinking about all of the times when I was looking for a very specific, unknown (to me) item for a recipe and what I did when I couldn’t find it. Sooooo, I got my phone out again and Googled, “Poblano pepper substitutes.” According to the wise people of the InterWeb, pasillo peppers are pretty much the same thing as poblanos. (I also discovered that the picture of the black, shrivelly pepper was an image of a ROASTED poblano pepper, and that in its original form, poblanos look just like pasillos.) So, I went back to the pepper section and – OH MY GOSH!  THEY HAVE PASILLOS!!!!!!

After dealing with the fact that I sometimes get really excited over strange things, I took off in search of the Confused Gentleman. I scoured the aisles for him, looking in every nook and behind every bread-filled shelf in the store. I looked in the Starbucks line (we have Starbucks inside of our grocery stores here on the west coast – does the east coast have this yet?), and I looked in all of the check-out lines.  Finally, I had to deal with the reality of this situation: Confused Gentleman was gone. 

I had failed. My attempt to help this man was left hanging, like an unfinished sentence just waiting for the exclamation point. I wanted to provide that exclamation point, but instead, there was just an ellipsis; a “dot-dot-dot” that the Confused Gentleman would never even know was there. . .

So why am I sharing this story with you? This story of failure? This story of an unfinished random act of kindness? Well, because I’ve learned a few important things:

Awareness matters. Just being aware that you can perform random acts of kindness makes a difference. I almost walked away from this situation completely. But because of all the talk I have been hearing about October being RAOK month, it sparked something in me. It motivated me to THINK.  To ask those important questions, like, “Is there something I can do?” And most importantly, it made me ACT.

Speak up sooner. In hindsight, I realize that if I had approached the man right away, I could have done all of my Google searches while talking with him, and we likely would have come to a solution together. 

As it stands, I’m left wondering what happened. Did he go somewhere else and get his poblano pepper and return home triumphant in his ingredient acquisitional skills? Or did he go home pepper-less to a wife who laughed about his lack of produce knowledge, and decided to order pizza instead? I have no idea. I just know that I’ll be better prepared next time, because that’s the great thing about showing kindness – there’s no expiration date and you can ALWAYS try again.

#randomactofkindness